By nature, I enjoy being spontaneous and would rather fly by the seat of my pants than sit down and make a plan for anything – be it a vacation, work project, or an important area of my life.

So when I finished writing the third in a series of posts on how to reach your full potential (Create Your Own Personal Development Plan), I realized that some people just hate the thought of sitting down and mapping out a strategy for their life.  They’d prefer to just let it happen spontaneously.

If that’s you, believe me, I’m with you. But over the years, I’ve discovered that a bit of planning can help me live a more spontaneous life. I know, it sounds paradoxical, but stay with me and I’ll explain. [Read more…]

Click here to buy The Rhythm of Life

I’m re-reading The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose, by Matthew Kelly.

I first read this New York Times bestseller three years ago.  It’s a book I want to read at least once a year because its message really resonates with my desire to be the best version of myself that I can be.

The main gist:   In an age obsessed with noise, speed, and perpetual activity, “who you become is infinitely more important than what you do, or what you have.”

From the book’s cover liner:

Once every twenty-five years or so, a book comes along that perfectly identifies our common search and struggle for happiness, and teaches us how to find lasting fulfillment in a changing world.  This is that book.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing insights from the book here at Life Compass Blog.  Here’s the first one:

Everything is a choice.

This is life’s greatest truth and hardest lesson.  It is a great truth because it reminds us of our power.  Not power over others, but the often untapped power to be ourselves and to live the life we have imagined.

It is a hard lesson, because it causes us to realize that we have chosen the life we are living right now.  It is perhaps frightening for us to think that we have chosen to live our life exactly as it is today.  Frightening because we may not like what we find when we look at our lives today.  But also liberating, because we can now begin to choose what we will find when we lok at our life in the tomorows that lie unlived before us.

What will you see when you look at your life ten years from now?  What will you choose?

Life is choices.

Kelly goes on to say that sometimes we choose “the-best-version-of-ourselves,” and sometimes we choose “a-second-rate-version-of-ourselves.”

Everything is a choice, and our choices don’t just impact the moment we make the decision.  They echo throughout our lives – into history and on into eternity.

If you’re like me, by now you’re probably thinking, “Wait a minute – what about people who are disadvantaged, or who are victims of circumstance?”  Kelly has an answer:

Some may say that we do not choose our circumstances.  You’d be surprised.  We have much more power over the circumstances of our lives than most men and women would ever admit.  And even if circumstances are thrust upon us, we choose how we respond to those circumstances.

I think he’s right when he says this is life’s greatest truth and hardest lesson.  No matter your life’s circumstances — whether you’ve been hurt, you’re in debt, you’re broke, you’re unemployed, or you’re stuck in a job you hate — we must to accept that we have chosen to choose our choices (whether they’ve caused the situation we’re in, or have caused us to remain stuck there).

The day we do that is the day we cast off victimhood and are free to pursue the lives we were born to live.

Are you pursuing the life you were meant to live?  If not, what choices are holding you back?  Please share your comments below.

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A few years ago, one of my mentors introduced me to the idea of an annual life review and planning weekend.  It was something he did every year, both on his own and with his wife, because they wanted to be more intentional in how they lived their lives and raised their children.

Their goal is to assess their current life situation at least once a year, and determine what they wanted to focus on and achieve — in the next season, year, and 3-5 years — within each of the six major areas of life:

1. Family/Home
2. Financial/Career
3. Community
4. Health
5. Personal Development
6. Spiritual

As a part of this process, they asked themselves several questions:

• What are our values (what things should be important to me) in this life area?
• How important are they currently?
• What is going well?
• What needs attention?
• What are our strengths in each area?
• What are our opportunities for growth (weaknesses)
• What limits should we place on this area, if any?
• What are our goals for this area in this next season of life?
• What are our goals for this area over the next 1-5 years?

My mentor led me through this process, along with a small group of other guys, a few years ago, and I could immediately see some benefits from the process:

• Helps you identify blind spots
• Fosters greater work-life balance because it impacts every area of life
• Allows you to benchmark and track your growth and success
• Reduces stress by helping you live on-purpose and not in crisis mode
• Improves family communication

If you’ve never done an annual review before, anytime is a good time to do it!  That being said, it seems like the month of January is a natural time for an annual life review.  It seems like that’s the time when most people take stock of certain aspects of their lives and think about making positive life change.

My wife and I just realized this is something we need to schedule before the month — and the year — gets away from us.

What about you?  Is this something you’ve done?  If so, how has it helped you?  Or is it something that you think would help you?  Please share your thoughts below.

On Sunday, Parade Magazine feautured an article entitlted, “How the Economic Crisis Changed Us.” Authors Michael J. Berlen and Douglas E. Schoen surveyed 1027 respondents back in July, and then published the results of their findings in this article.

They received a lot of interesting insights into how Americans have been affected, and are coping, with the economic downturn we’re in.  Here are some of the highlights that stood out to me:

• 79% say they’ve felt the impact of the financial downturn
• 33% say the turmoil has had a big impact on their lives
• 80% say they are “forced to do more with less”
• 73% had to make some unexpected changes
• 27% have had to pursue extra work
• 68% say “creating a meaningful life” and “giving back” have become important to them
• 83% are reconsidering what they really need in life
• 43% are devoting more time to learning new skills
• 30% are volunteering more for a charity or cause
• 43% are exercising more
• 52% are forming stronger bonds with spouses

It seems that in times of uncertainty, people are more apt to make change in their lives.  They want to “shore up” things they know need to be addressed or worked on.  They want to gain new skills and become more valuable at work.  They want to give back and help others.  And they want to improve relationships with the people that matter the most.

How has the current economic crisis changed you?  Can you relate to this list?  Is there something that you’d add?

In my last post, I shared a discussion from a webinar I attended, hosted by Lynn Terry.  Lynn is the author of SelfStartersWeeklyTips.com, an excellent resource for anyone interested in making money through an online business.

In the webinar, Lynn talked about the fact that some people, when they’re not successful in achieving change in their life (like starting an online or offline business, for example), give up and say that they just can’t do it because they don’t have “it”.

To them, “it” is some kind of secret ingredient that others have (those who have successfully made the change), but they must not have (because they haven’t made the change yet, after “x” months or years of effort).

Yesterday, I wrote that I don’t think there is one singular “it,” or one secret ingredient, that everyone needs in order to be successful in starting a business or in achieving any desired change in life.

But I do believe there are several “its” or ingredients that must be present in order for us to achieve the success we hope to achieve. Miss any one of them, and our efforts at life change could, and probably will, end in frustration and failure:

1. Belief in yourself.
   
2. Alignment with core personal values.
3. Vision of clearly defined goals.
4. Planning with the end in mind.
5. Focus on the dream.
6. Perseverance.
7. Honesty with yourself.
   

(If you missed yesterday’s post, click here to read the descriptions for each of the ingredients mentioned above.)

Today, I promised I’d share my ideas on how we can successfully achieve the life change we want by keeping these ingredients, or success factors, more present in our lives.  Here goes…

I believe we must have…

1. Ownership – Whatever our desired life change is, we’ve got to own the decision to make the change, and own the process that will bring about the change.  This means we accept full responsibility for our actions…or our inaction.
2. Self-Awareness – We need to understand our personality, our gifts, how we work, what motivates us, what are the best times of day to focus on projects, how we overcome obstacles, etc.
3. Accountability – We need someone to hold us accountable for the change we want to cultivate in our lives – someone to cheer us on and check our results.  Accountability can take the form of a one-on-one relationship, like with your spouse, a friend, an accountability partner, or a coach.  Or you might find accountability in a group, like a mastermind group.

Have I missed anything?  If so, please share your thoughts in the comments section.

I’ll be writing more on these topics in the future.  So if you have any questions about them, please contact me and let me know:  rich{at}lifecompassblog.com

Yesterday I participated in a webinar hosted by Lynn Terry.  Lynn is the author of SelfStartersWeeklyTips.com, an excellent resource for anyone interested in making money through an online business.  She cuts through the hype (and believe me – there’s a LOT of hype out there about making money online) and offers practical “how-to” advice based on her 13 years of experience with online marketing.

In the webinar, Lynn shared her observation that some people think there must be a “secret ingredient” to building a successful online business, or any business, for that matter.  And if they’re not achieving the results they had hoped to see after “x” number of months of effort, they get discouraged and feel doomed to failure, because they don’t have this secret ingredient.  In their mind, some people must have “it,” whatever it is, and some, like them,  don’t.

I don’t think there is one singular “it,” or one secret ingredient, that everyone needs in order to be successful in starting a business or in achieving any desired change in life.

But I do believe there are several “its” or ingredients that must be present in order for us to achieve the success we hope to achieve. Miss any one of them, and our efforts at life change could, and probably will, end in frustration and failure.

For some, their secret ingredient is belief – belief in themselves, that they can actually live on purpose and create the life of their dreams.  I think belief is the starting point of any effort to change our lives. If we can’t believe that things can be different, we can’t receive or achieve the desired change.

Alignment is a big factor that many miss.  They don’t consider how or whether their desired goal aligns or fits with their personal values.  Believe me, I speak from experience when I say that there’s nothing worse than pursuing something that you decide, later on, wasn’t worth pursuing because it didn’t really align with your personal values and big-picture goals for your life.

Others lack vision – they haven’t clearly envisioned and defined the goals or objectives they want to achieve.  The problem with this, as Lewis Carroll said in Alice in Wonderland, is “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”  We must have a clear and well-defined picture of our goals, otherwise, how will we know we’re on the right track and that we’re making progress toward achieving them?

For some, it is planning – they failed to make a plan, starting with the end result in mind, for the goals they want to accomplish. From my own experience, I can say it is true that if we fail to plan, we are definitely planning to fail.

For others, they lack focus – focusing on their dream and making it a reality.  They easily get distracted by “bright shiny objects” that vie for their attention and pull them off into other directions.

Perseverance is missing for some – they never learned how to stick with something until they complete it or achieve it.  As I’ve reflected on situations in my own life and the lives of others, I’ve found that people sometimes give up right before the breakthrough would have come…if only they had stayed the course a little longer.

Last, but not least, there’s honesty – being honest with yourself and those you’re asking to help you.  Anyone can ask for, and receive, guidance and advice.  But the responsibility is on the person doing the asking.  You’ve got to take action and do the work.  If you’re not finding success, don’t blame those who gave you advice if you haven’t taken your best steps forward and done all that you know, deep down, that you need to do.

Looking back on my own life, I can say that every single one of these ingredients has been missing at one time or another, as I’ve attempted to make change or achieve success in certain areas of my life.  As a result, I didn’t achieve the success I had hoped for, or it was seriously delayed.

So how can we make sure we have all these ingredients, these success factors, in our lives all the time?  I’ll share my ideas in my next post.