Stop Allowing Fear to Guide Your Life Pt. 2

In my last post, we discussed four reasons why people allow fear to guide their lives.

  1. They feel powerless
  2. They feel like they’re not worthy of success
  3. The cost of change seems higher than the cost of staying the same
  4. There will never be a good time to do it.

If you’ve just joined us, you can read the entire post here:

Stop Allowing Fear To Guide Your Life Pt. 1.

Today, as promised, I’ll share…

Four Ways to End Fear’s Grip on Your Life.

1.  Have faith. In yourself and in your ability to change your circumstances.  You can do it!

2.  Take action! Decide today that you’re going to take control and create the life and lifestyle you want.

3.  Make a plan. Determine where you want to be in a year or two.  Then identify a few simple steps you can take today to bring about the desired change.  Then decide what’s next.  Then decide what’s next.  Then decide what’s next.  You get the idea.  The accomplishment of a huge goal happens in a series of small, simple steps.

4.  Build a team. One of the biggest reasons people give in to fear is that there’s no one else on their side to encourage them.  Find a mentor who has “been there” before and can help and encourage you in this process.  Or develop a mastermind group with others who have decided that they too need to bring needed change in their lives.

Need more ideas?  Have questions?  Feel free to contact me here.  Your message goes right into my personal email inbox.

Stop Allowing Fear to Guide Your Life Pt. 1

I just read an interesting post at FrugalDad.com, regarding how people allow fear to guide their financial decisions.  It didn’t take me long to see the connection not just with finances, but with every area of life.

Why do people allow fear to guide their lives?

1.  They feel powerless. They feel that many decisions have already been made for them re: where they’re going to work, there they will live, how much money they’ll earn, etc.  “This is how it’s always been…and this is how it’s always going to be…”  Fear of failure keeps them from taking a step forward.

2.  They feel like they’re not worthy of success. No matter how much they try to change, they believe it won’t make a difference.  Success if for others, not for them.

3.  The cost of change seems higher than the cost of staying the same. People often deceive themselves into thinking that it costs less (in terms of time, money, emotional energy, relationships, etc) to stay in the situation they don’t want, rather than take a risk and make some change.  But if they really calculated the cost in terms of just emotional energy alone, they’d discover that taking bold action and making purposeful change will build up, not drain, their emotional bank account.

4.  There will never be a good time to… No matter what kind of change they want to make in their lives, there is never a “right” time to do it, because of their health, the economy, the kids, their spouse, their job, their parent, their finances.  The list goes on.

How can we stop allowing fear to guide our lives?

We’ll cover that in the next post.

You might also like:

9 Reasons Why You’ll Never Achieve Your Dreams

Does God Believe in You More Than You Do?

Woulda Shoulda Coulda – How to Deal with Regret About Past Lifestyle Choices

Do you ever look back on your life and regret past choices you’ve made which have kept you from achieving some of your dreams today?  I know I do.

I believe I have a healthy perspective on the situation, though.  I don’t send myself on guilt trips or get depressed about it.  However, I do have a sense of regret about money, time, and opportunities wasted.

I think my biggest regret revolves around my relationship with money.  Despite the many people in my life who encouraged me to systematically save money (starting with my parents, teachers, employers, and friends), I saved virtually nothing through my teenage, young adult, and early marriage years.

I know money isn’t everything.  But when it comes to living the lifestyle of your dreams, it sure does help. Because money buys you both time and opportunity.

I graduated from high school 21 years ago.  When I add up all the money that has passed through my hands since then, I’m flabbergasted.  And when I calculate how much money I’d have if would have saved just 10% of my income each year for 21 years (aside from what I’ve saved for retirement), I’m amazed.

That money could have fulfilled a lot of my dreams.  It could have made some decisions easier.  It could have opened up new doors of opportunity.  But it didn’t, because I didn’t let it.

What should you do when you feel regret for past lifestyle choices?  I say let it be your guide, your motivation, to make things different from this point forward.

I think you’ll find that bold action is the best medicine for regret.  Whatever it is that you know you need to start (or stop) doing, resolve to do it today!

Inspiration in Your Inbox

Let’s face it, sometimes it is hard to get motivated on Monday morning, or any morning for that matter. One of the things that has helped me, for over 5 years now, is a FREE inspirational quote that I receive in my inbox every morning from My Daily Insights.

These quotes, from famous people living and dead, give me something great to think about and apply to my own life.

Today’s quote is from Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft Corporation:

Being big or small isn’t the crucial issue.  If you don’t move, you don’t move.

Ballmer reminds us that success isn’t dependent upon size.  It is dependent upon action.  Which is something I’ve been focusing on in my own life quite a bit.

Need some inspiration to get going on Monday morning, or any morning?  Subscribe to My Daily Insights today!

9 Reasons Why You’ll Never Achieve Your Dreams

Dreams in Sand 2Recently, I asked some friends this question:  “Why is it that most people fail to take bold action to achieve their dreams?” Here are the nine answers I received:

  1. “Because people told them they’d never amount to anything.  They believed it and decided to never try.” Maybe it was a parent, teacher, sibling, friend or spouse. This illustrates the power of words.  Despite the old saying re: “Sticks & Stones”, words CAN hurt us!
  2. “It’s got something to do with physics — an object at rest tends to stay at rest.” It takes a massive amount of energy to change. And let’s face it, most of us are very comfortable exactly as we are.
  3. “Discouragement…they give up after seeing the amount of work required to achieve it.” It is “cheaper” to stay the way they are than to pay the price to get where they want to be.
  4. “Distraction – the loss of focus/purpose and the lack of vision.” We get so easily distracted, don’t we?  Yet if we want to achieve success…we need to stay focused on what we know we need to do to achieve it.
  5. “FEAR is a big one, I think – fear of change, fear of failure, etc.  Also, an inability to picture oneself having achieved the goal.” These are two powerful insights.  First, some people are afraid to fail.  Others are afraid to succeed.  In both cases, they’re afraid of what others might think.  And many are afraid to take that first step – not knowing what will happen.  And the point about picturing oneself achieving the goal is huge.  This illustrates the power of visualization, of seeing ourselves, in our mind’s eye, being successful.
  6. “I think the obstacles can seem overwhelming…the focus is placed on the obstacles rather than the smaller steps needed to reach the dream.” This illustrates the importance of small steps…you don’t need to swallow the whole elephant at once, just take him a bite at a time!
  7. “Dreamers dream. Writers write. Doers do.” Let’s face it – some of us (myself included) are perpetual dreamers.  We can dream up a thousand good ideas.  But if we don’t put them on paper and make a plan…they’ll never come true.  Others are great at writing out plans…but they never execute…they never take that first step of action.  “Doers do”.  I like that.  Doers take action.  They too can be led astray if they don’t stay focused on doing actions that impact their goals. But no dream comes true, no written plan becomes a reality, without action.  Robert Ringer put it this way:  “Nothing happens until something moves.”
  8. “We believe the lie that we aren’t good enough, or we are incapable, we fear change, success and the future, and we lack the courage, support and strength to hope to dream in the first place. It is only those who truly respond to the call/desire God has placed in them that ever see their dreams fulfilled – and usually much, much more!!!” Again, this speaks of believing in ourselves, taking action, being confident of our life purpose.
  9. “Many times, courage and faith are the missing ingredients.” This too, speaks of believing in ourselves, and in a power that is greater than ourselves.  I’m reminded of a quote from Dorothea Brande:  “Act boldly and unseen forces will come to your aid.”

What about you, my friend?  Are any of these reasons keeping you from achieving your dreams?

If so, resolve to take bold action today!   If you’ve got goals in your head but not on paper, write them down.  If you’ve never made a plan, take a few minutes to sketch out some steps you could take.  Then take that first step!  Decide to make something happen this week, this month, or this year!  Remember Robert Ringer’s words:  “Nothing happens until something moves.”

Please share your thoughts – and your stories of success.  I’d love to hear them!